From billa@fhcrc.org Fri Nov 1 17:08:20 1996 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu (lucy.cs.wisc.edu [128.105.2.11]) by sea.cs.wisc.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id RAA04548 for ; Fri, 1 Nov 1996 17:08:15 -0600 Received: from bug1.fhcrc.org (bug1.fhcrc.org [140.107.10.110]) by lucy.cs.wisc.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id RAA10490 for ; Fri, 1 Nov 1996 17:08:14 -0600 Received: from spider.fhcrc.org (spider [140.107.42.20]) by bug1.fhcrc.org (8.8.2/8.8.2) with SMTP id PAA06357 for ; Fri, 1 Nov 1996 15:08:12 -0800 (PST) Received: from localhost by spider.fhcrc.org (SMI-8.6/SMI-SVR4) id PAA03827; Fri, 1 Nov 1996 15:08:08 -0800 Date: Fri, 1 Nov 1996 15:08:07 -0800 (PST) From: Bill Alford X-Sender: billa@spider To: Findings list Subject: HUM: Woody Woodpecker PC? (***) (fwd) Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Oracle Service Humor Archives Date: Fri, 1 Nov 1996 17:42:03 -0500 (EST) Subject: HUM: Woody Woodpecker PC? (***) Matsushita Electric is promoting a new Japanese PC targeted at the Internet. Panasonic has developed a complete Japanese Web browser, and to make the system "user-friendly", licensed the cartoon character "Woody Woodpecker" as the "Internet guide." Panasonic eventually planned on a world version of the product. A huge marketing campaign was to have introduced the product in Japan last week. The day before the ads were to be released, Panasonic suddenly pulled back and delayed the product launch indefinitely. The reason: the ads featured the slogan "Touch Woody - The Internet Pecker." An American staff member at the internal product launch explained to the stunned and embarrassed Japanese what "touch woody" and "pecker" meant in American slang. -From EE Times, October 8, 1996 Submitted by: Brian Hirschfield @ america.net \\|// (o o) THE ORACLE SERVICE HUMOR MAILING LIST ~~~~~~~~~~~~oOOo~(_)~oOOo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Steve Willoughby's E-mail: HOW TO SUBSCRIBE (It's FREE): ---------------------------- -------------------------------- oracle@synapse.net To subscribe to the Oracle's mail list send a message with only the word SUBSCRIBE in the body (not the subject) of the message to: humour-list-request@lists.synapse.net WWW Site: ------------- http://www.synapse.net/~oracle/Contents/HumorArch.html Copyright Information: ------------------------- Steven Willoughby is not the author of this piece, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the piece. The work has been submitted to him as an item for the humor mailing list, and he has approved it based solely upon its humor content. The list is nonprofit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From gach@chemeng.cheme.washington.edu Fri Nov 1 18:03:37 1996 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu (lucy.cs.wisc.edu [128.105.2.11]) by sea.cs.wisc.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id SAA06254 for ; Fri, 1 Nov 1996 18:03:26 -0600 Received: from mailhost1.cac.washington.edu (mailhost1.cac.washington.edu [140.142.32.2]) by lucy.cs.wisc.edu (8.6.12/8.6.12) with ESMTP id SAA11616 for ; Fri, 1 Nov 1996 18:03:24 -0600 Received: from chemeng.cheme.washington.edu (chemeng.cheme.washington.edu [128.95.214.188]) by mailhost1.cac.washington.edu (8.8.2+UW96.10/8.8.2+UW96.10) with SMTP id QAA10854; Fri, 1 Nov 1996 16:03:00 -0800 Message-ID: Date: 1 Nov 1996 16:02:21 -0800 From: "Ray Gach" Subject: FWD>A Blonde joke To: "Bill Alford" , "Verna Blackhurst" , "Barbara Fulton" , "Kathy Gach" , "Robert Gach" , "Randa Knudsen" , "Humor Listing" , "Dave Marks" , "John Romero" , "Tara Trowbridge" , "Judy Watson" , "Marc Wilson" , "Patricia Wilson" , "Gina Zagala" , "Greg Zimlich" X-Mailer: Mail*Link SMTP/QM 3.0.0 -------------------------------------- Date: 11/1/96 3:17 PM From: Eric Mehan One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde, the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'me.... could I see your drivers license...?" "...What's a license...???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet..." replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration..." asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment..." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute..." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back; "Ummm.... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes...." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher "Uh... yes" replied the cop. "Here's what you do...." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants..." "WHAT!!? I can't do that. Its..... inappropriate..." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me..... just do it...." said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not ANOTHER breathalyzer......"