From gerg@eskimo.com Mon Oct 30 20:16:29 1995 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu by sea.cs.wisc.edu; Mon, 30 Oct 95 20:16:21 -0600; AA19264 Received: from gerg.ndip.eskimo.net by lucy.cs.wisc.edu; Mon, 30 Oct 95 20:16:14 -0600 Received: (from gerg@localhost) by gerg.ndip.eskimo.net (8.6.9/8.6.9) id SAA00152; Mon, 30 Oct 1995 18:15:50 -0800 Date: Mon, 30 Oct 1995 18:15:49 -0800 (PST) From: Gregory Zimlich X-Sender: gerg@gerg.ndip.eskimo.net To: findings@lucy.cs.wisc.edu Cc: Marc Wilson , Tony Rand , Norm Zimlich , Diane Lasch <74074.1003@CompuServe.com> Subject: Abort, Retry, Ignore? (fwd) Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sun, 17 Sep 1995 13:22:03 -0700 (PDT) From: Reuben Politi To: reubenp@uclink3.berkeley.edu Subject: Abort, Retry, Ignore? Be sure and make this as dramatic as possible... Abort, Retry, Ignore? Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer, I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more. Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing, Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more. But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token. "Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!" One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more, Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion? These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before. Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises. The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more. Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more, From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending, Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored, Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key. But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before. Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore, Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard. I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore. Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations, Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before. Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before. Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted. Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor. And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night. A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core. The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore. Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go. What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored, Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes? But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more, You will be one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore, Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" .oooO Oooo. To SUBSCRIBE, send mail to: majordomo@tdkt.skypoint.net ( ) ( ) with the message SUBSCRIBE JOKE \ ( ) / To UNSUBSCRIBE, send mail to majordomo@tdkt.skypoint.net \_) (_/ with the message UNSUBSCRIBE JOKE --- * TLX 4.0 * Quoth the Raven, "Eat My Shorts." From billa@muffet.cs.wisc.edu Tue Oct 31 22:37:53 1995 Received: from muffet.cs.wisc.edu by sea.cs.wisc.edu; Tue, 31 Oct 95 22:37:49 -0600; AA07546 Received: by muffet.cs.wisc.edu; Tue, 31 Oct 95 22:37:47 -0600 Date: Tue, 31 Oct 1995 22:37:44 -0600 (CST) From: William Alford To: findings@muffet.cs.wisc.edu Subject: from RISKS 17.43 (fwd) Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII [For all those that have had fun with microsoft problems. No, there's no bugs in their systems....] ---------- Forwarded message ---------- ------------------------------ Date: Fri, 27 Oct 1995 10:31:43 +0100 From: Klaus Brunnstein Subject: Mr.Bill Gates: MS software essentially bug-free In an interview for German weekly magazine FOCUS (nr.43, October 23,1995, pages 206-212), Microsoft`s Mr. Bill Gates has made some statements about software quality of MS products. After lengthy inquiries about how PCs should and could be used (including some angry comments on some questions which Mr. Gates evidently did not like), the interviewer comes to storage requirements of MS products; it ends with the following dispute (translated by submitter; at some interesting points, I added the German phrase): Focus: But it is a fact: if you buy a new version of a program to overcome faults of an old one, you unavoidably get more features and need more storage. Gates: We have strong competitors and produce only products which we believe to be able to sell. New versions are not offered to cure faults. I have never heard of a less relevant reason to bring a new version on the market. Focus: There are always bugs in programs. Gates: No. There are no essential bugs ("keine bedeutenden Fehler") in our software which a significant number fo users might wish to be removed. Focus: Hey? I get always crazy when my Macintosh Word 5.1 hides page numbers under my text. Gates: Maybe you make errors, have you ever thought about that? It often appears that machine addicts ("Maschinenstuermer") cannot use software properly. We install new features because we were asked to. Nobody would buy a new software because of bugs in an old one. Focus: If I call a hotline or a dealer and complain about a problem, I have to hear: `Get the update to version 6`. Everybody has such experiences. This is how the system works. Gates: We pay 500 million $ a year for telephone advice. Less than 1% of calls which we get has to do with software bugs. Most callers wish advice. You are kindly invited to listen to the millions of calls. You must wait for weeks until one complains about a bug. Focus: But where does this feeling of frustration come from which unites PC users? Everybody is confronted every day that programs do not work as they should? Gates: That is talking, following the motto: `yes, I also know about this bug`. I understand this as sociological phenomenon, not as technical. The RISK? While there is NO risk that experienced users believe Mr. Gates, there are 2 serious ones: first, that politicians (who rarely experience the lowlands of PCs but develop their "political visions" from their unexperience) may believe him. Second and worst: that Mr. Gates and his enterprise believe what he is saying, and act accordingly :-) Maybe someone can inform Mr. Gates that it was HIS enterprise which recently distributed the first Macro virus WordMacro.Concept on a CD-ROM to OEM customers, in July, and to participants of a Windows 95 seminar in Germany, in September); but indeed, this is NOT a BUG BUT an ATTACK on unaware users :-) According to a German saying those whose reputation is corrupted may live free and easy ("Ist der Ruf erst ruiniert, lebt sich's doppelt ungeniert!") Klaus Brunnstein (October 27,1995) [... und nicht ingeniert (which is not pronounced engineert!) PGN]