From billa@howard.fhcrc.org Mon Jun 26 19:24:40 1995 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu by sea.cs.wisc.edu; Mon, 26 Jun 95 19:24:38 -0500; AA26484 Received: from aphid.fhcrc.org by lucy.cs.wisc.edu; Mon, 26 Jun 95 19:24:36 -0500 Received: from howard.fhcrc.org by aphid.fhcrc.org (5.x/SMI-SVR4) id AA11490; Mon, 26 Jun 1995 17:24:31 -0700 Received: from sparky.fhcrc.org by howard.fhcrc.org (4.1/SMI-4.1) id AA10940; Mon, 26 Jun 95 17:24:33 PDT Received: by sparky.fhcrc.org (5.0/SMI-SVR4) id AA12172; Mon, 26 Jun 1995 17:24:23 -0700 Date: Mon, 26 Jun 1995 17:24:23 -0700 (PDT) From: Bill Alford X-Sender: billa@sparky To: findings@lucy.cs.wisc.edu Subject: Day off Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny From: randy@tpe.ncm.com (Keith) Subject: Day off Message-ID: Date: Thu, 18 May 95 19:30:04 EDT "A DAY OFF" So you want a day off, let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 day availiable for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving onl 91 days available. You sepnd 30 minutes each day on coffee break that accounts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. with a one hour lunch period each day, you have used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days available for work. We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give you 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work, and I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off!!! -- Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke to funny@clari.net. Sponsored by ClariNet Communications Corp. If you post instead of mailing, it screws up the reply-address sometimes. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. From billa@howard.fhcrc.org Tue Jun 27 19:54:28 1995 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu by sea.cs.wisc.edu; Tue, 27 Jun 95 19:54:26 -0500; AA10255 Received: from aphid.fhcrc.org by lucy.cs.wisc.edu; Tue, 27 Jun 95 19:54:23 -0500 Received: from howard.fhcrc.org by aphid.fhcrc.org (5.x/SMI-SVR4) id AA22942; Tue, 27 Jun 1995 17:54:18 -0700 Received: from sparky.fhcrc.org by howard.fhcrc.org (4.1/SMI-4.1) id AA25423; Tue, 27 Jun 95 17:54:17 PDT Received: by sparky.fhcrc.org (5.0/SMI-SVR4) id AA19970; Tue, 27 Jun 1995 17:54:08 -0700 Date: Tue, 27 Jun 1995 17:54:07 -0700 (PDT) From: Bill Alford X-Sender: billa@sparky To: findings@lucy.cs.wisc.edu Subject: yet another fortune :) Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night, God said, "Let Newton be," and all was light. It did not last; the devil howling "Ho! Let Einstein be!" restored the status quo. From billa@howard.fhcrc.org Wed Jun 28 17:06:36 1995 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu by sea.cs.wisc.edu; Wed, 28 Jun 95 17:06:34 -0500; AA24150 Received: from aphid.fhcrc.org by lucy.cs.wisc.edu; Wed, 28 Jun 95 17:06:33 -0500 Received: from howard.fhcrc.org by aphid.fhcrc.org (5.x/SMI-SVR4) id AA02979; Wed, 28 Jun 1995 15:06:27 -0700 Received: from sparky.fhcrc.org by howard.fhcrc.org (4.1/SMI-4.1) id AA03387; Wed, 28 Jun 95 15:06:28 PDT Received: by sparky.fhcrc.org (5.0/SMI-SVR4) id AA25971; Wed, 28 Jun 1995 15:06:19 -0700 Date: Wed, 28 Jun 1995 15:06:18 -0700 (PDT) From: Bill Alford X-Sender: billa@sparky To: findings@lucy.cs.wisc.edu Subject: more fortune... Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII You think Oedipus had a problem -- Adam was Eve's mother.