From billa@howard.fhcrc.org Mon Jul 31 17:57:56 1995 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu by sea.cs.wisc.edu; Mon, 31 Jul 95 17:57:53 -0500; AA13712 Received: from aphid.fhcrc.org by lucy.cs.wisc.edu; Mon, 31 Jul 95 17:57:52 -0500 Received: from howard.fhcrc.org by aphid.fhcrc.org (5.x/SMI-SVR4) id AA09439; Mon, 31 Jul 1995 15:57:49 -0700 Received: by howard.fhcrc.org (4.1/SMI-4.1) id AA07235; Mon, 31 Jul 95 15:57:36 PDT Date: Mon, 31 Jul 1995 15:57:35 -0700 (PDT) From: Bill Alford X-Sender: billa@howard To: findings@lucy.cs.wisc.edu Subject: (fwd) editor jokes (fwd) Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII [Here's something to stir up the editor war. BTW, I use emacs, and LOVE it. ;) PS. If you are not a unix user, you probably won't find this that funny. Sorry. ] [some forwards deleted] ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Newsgroups: uw-cs.bboard From: forman@cs.washington.edu Subject: editor jokes Date: Mon, 24 Jul 1995 19:36:58 GMT What does EMACS stand for? Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping Eating Memory And Cycle-Sucking Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift Each Manual's Audience is Completely Stupified Eventually Munches All Computer Storage Generally Not Used Except Maybe Among Computer Scientists ================================================================ Subject: The True Path Date: 11 Jul 91 03:17:31 GMT From: patl@athena.mit.edu (Patrick J. LoPresti) When I log into my Xenix system with my 110 baud teletype, both vi *and* Emacs are just too damn slow. They print useless messages like, 'C-h for help' and '"foo" File is read only'. So I use the editor that doesn't waste my VALUABLE time. Ed, man! !man ed ED(1) UNIX Programmer's Manual ED(1) NAME ed - text editor SYNOPSIS ed [ - ] [ -x ] [ name ] DESCRIPTION Ed is the standard text editor. - --- Computer Scientists love ed, not just because it comes first alphabetically, but because it's the standard. Everyone else loves ed because it's ED! "Ed is the standard text editor." And ed doesn't waste space on my Timex Sinclair. Just look: - -rwxr-xr-x 1 root 24 Oct 29 1929 /bin/ed - -rwxr-xr-t 4 root 1310720 Jan 1 1970 /usr/ucb/vi - -rwxr-xr-x 1 root 5.89824e37 Oct 22 1990 /usr/bin/emacs Of course, on the system *I* administrate, vi is symlinked to ed. "Ed is the standard text editor." Let's look at a typical novice's session with the mighty ed: golem> ed ? help ? ? ? quit ? exit ? bye ? hello? ? eat flaming death ? ^C ? ^C ? ^D ? Note the consistent user interface and error reportage. Ed is generous enough to flag errors, yet prudent enough not to overwhelm the novice with verbosity. "Ed is the standard text editor." Ed, the greatest WYGIWYG editor of all. ED IS THE TRUE PATH TO NIRVANA! ED HAS BEEN THE CHOICE OF EDUCATED AND IGNORANT ALIKE FOR DECADES! ED WILL NOT CORRUPT YOUR PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS!! ED IS THE STANDARD TEXT EDITOR! ED MAKES THE SUN SHINE AND THE BIRDS SING AND THE GRASS GREEN!! When I use an editor, I don't want eight extra KILOBYTES of worthless help screens and cursor positioning code! I just want an EDitor!! Not a "viitor". Not a "emacsitor". Those aren't even WORDS!!!! ED! ED! ED IS THE STANDARD!!! TEXT EDITOR. When IBM, in its ever-present omnipotence, needed to base their "edlin" on a UNIX standard, did they mimic vi? No. Emacs? Surely you jest. They chose the most karmic editor of all. The standard. Ed is for those who can *remember* what they are working on. If you are an idiot, you should use Emacs. If you are an Emacs, you should not be vi. If you use ED, you are on THE PATH TO REDEMPTION. THE SO-CALLED "VISUAL" EDITORS HAVE BEEN PLACED HERE BY ED TO TEMPT THE FAITHLESS. DO NOT GIVE IN!!! THE MIGHTY ED HAS SPOKEN!!! ?