From gach@chemeng.cheme.washington.edu Sat Dec 23 14:54:39 1995 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu by sea.cs.wisc.edu; Sat, 23 Dec 95 14:54:37 -0600; AA00968 Received: from chemeng.cheme.washington.edu by lucy.cs.wisc.edu; Fri, 22 Dec 95 18:06:49 -0600 Message-Id: Date: 22 Dec 1995 15:59:20 -0800 From: "Ray Gach" Subject: FWD>A Visit from St. Nichol To: hang-gliding@lists.utah.edu X-Mailer: Mail*Link SMTP/QM 3.0.0 Mail*Link(r) SMTP FWD>A Visit from St. Nicholas Received: by chemeng.cheme.washington.edu with SMTP;22 Dec 1995 15:14:41 -0800 Received: (from list@localhost) by lameo.cc.utah.edu (8.6.11/8.6.9) id QAA20260; Fri, 22 Dec 1995 16:12:26 -0700 Resent-Date: Fri, 22 Dec 1995 16:12:26 -0700 Date: Fri, 22 Dec 1995 18:12:03 -0500 (EST) From: Chuck Mosher To: hang-gliding@lists.utah.edu Subject: A Visit from St. Nicholas Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Resent-Message-ID: <"eLG4N3.0.Sy4.Pjpsm"@lameo.cc.utah.edu> Resent-From: hang-gliding@lists.utah.edu X-Mailing-List: archive/latest/17946 X-Loop: hang-gliding@lists.utah.edu Precedence: list Resent-Sender: hang-gliding-request@lists.utah.edu Hello and a Merry Christmas to all! I have appended below a little Christmas treat, a version of "The Night Before Christmas" that was given to me in high school, which was at least, ah, well, a long time ago. I have encountered anyone else who had heard of it, so I sat down the other day and typed it in. Enjoy! Oh, and kudos to all of you who have contributed the terrific flying stories. I was *this* *close* to getting my Hang II and tow ratings when the season shut down on me. So it's great to hear about everyone else's experiences. May you all have a truly wonderful holiday. Chuck Mosher ------ A Visit From St. Nicholas ''Twas the nocturnal segment of the annual period preceding the anticipated Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of the potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as "mus musculus". Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folklore appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas. The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experience subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernate darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof. Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barrier sealing this fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be said to rival that of the solar meridian itself -- thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne rounder conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens of the genus "Rangifer", piloted by a minuscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller. With his ungulate motive power traveling at what may possibly have been more vertiginous velocity than patriotic Allure predators, he vociferated loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia, and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen -- "now Dasher, now Dancer, ..." et al. -- guiding them to the uppermost level of our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities. As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved -- with utmost celerity and via a downward leap -- entry by way of the smoke passage. He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the bon residue from the oxidation's of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls thereof. His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle. His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability. The capillar of his molar regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the "prunus avium", or sweet cherry. His amusing suband supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tubular and columnar crystals of frozen water. Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose gray fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly, his visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of gelatinous fruit syrup in a hemispherical container. He was, in short, neither more nor less than an obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite every effort to refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side, he indicated that trepidation on my part was groundless. Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filing the aforementioned appended hosiery with various of the aforementioned articles of merchandise extracted from his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle. Upon completion of the task, he executed an abrupt about-face, placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke passage. He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed. But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to that selfsame assemblage, my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable period between sunset and dawn!" Author Unknown From gach@chemeng.cheme.washington.edu Fri Dec 29 12:21:11 1995 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu by sea.cs.wisc.edu; Fri, 29 Dec 95 12:21:09 -0600; AA19230 Received: from chemeng.cheme.washington.edu by lucy.cs.wisc.edu; Fri, 29 Dec 95 12:21:02 -0600 Message-Id: Date: 29 Dec 1995 10:18:24 -0800 From: "Ray Gach" Subject: FWD>>Small World -Forwarded To: "Bill Alford" , "Humor Listing" , "Marc Wilson" , "Patricia Wilson" , "Greg Zimlich" X-Mailer: Mail*Link SMTP/QM 3.0.0 Mail*Link(r) SMTP FWD>>Small World -Forwarded Is this appropriate to this list? Maybe not, but it does make one go "Hmmm". ------------------------------------------- A Small World If we could at this very moment, shrink the earth's population to a village of 100, with all existing human ratios staying the same, the village would look like this: There would be 57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 Western hemisphere people (North and South America), and 8 Africans. 70 of the 100 would be non-white: 30 would be white. 50 percent of the entire world's wealth would be in the hands of 6 people-all 6 would be US citizens. 70 would be unable to read: 50 would suffer from malnutrition; 80 would live in substandard housing; and only 1 would have a university education. ============================================= = Uses [] Patrick Ryan = = Disclaimer;[] pryan@newhutch.fhcrc.org = ============================================= From gach@chemeng.cheme.washington.edu Fri Dec 29 15:01:15 1995 Received: from lucy.cs.wisc.edu by sea.cs.wisc.edu; Fri, 29 Dec 95 15:01:12 -0600; AA21050 Received: from chemeng.cheme.washington.edu by lucy.cs.wisc.edu; Fri, 29 Dec 95 15:01:08 -0600 Message-Id: Date: 29 Dec 1995 12:56:13 -0800 From: "Ray Gach" Subject: FWD>>Subject- Never say nev To: "Beta Anderson" , "Kip Hauch" , "Angelika Mein" , "Mark Rice" , "Phil Rose" <72143.60@compuserve.com>, "Jeff Zhang" , "Ray Gach" , "Margaret Kramer" X-Mailer: Mail*Link SMTP/QM 3.0.0 Mail*Link(r) SMTP FWD>>Subject: Never say never... -------------------------------------- Date: 12/27/95 8:50 AM From: Teri Ratner Received: by chemeng.cheme.washington.edu with SMTP;27 Dec 1995 08:43:24 -0800 Received: by atl.com (4.1/3.1.090690-) id AA06372; Wed, 27 Dec 95 08:41:36 PST Received: from ATL#u#HQ-Message_Server by corp.atl.com with Novell_GroupWise; Wed, 27 Dec 1995 08:38:13 -0800 Message-Id: X-Mailer: Novell GroupWise 4.1 Date: Wed, 27 Dec 1995 08:36:01 -0800 From: Teri Ratner To: spohje@acc.ghc.org, ASundstrom@aol.com, rdwernick@aol.com, payton@cheme.washington.edu, horbett@chemeng.cheme.washington.edu, lund@chemeng.cheme.washington.edu, aa650@cleveland.Freenet.Edu, 74641.2446@compuserve.com, dsolle@dsf.ghc.org, ball.l@ghc.org, kraft.sj@ghc.org, kuhlmann.d@ghc.org, meers.r@ghc.org, schmaltz.r@ghc.org, Christopher_Lewis@hmc.edu, jbyrum@landmark.com, a-blalew@microsoft.com, brittu@microsoft.com, pryan@newhutch.fhcrc.org, jimc@nwlink.com, lloyd@nwra.com, dratner@pomona.edu, NSHR21A@prodigy.com, VXWM35A@prodigy.com, emcmahon@selu.edu, tonyl@sirti.org, jane.schoenfeld@ucop.edu, alans@violet.berkeley.edu Subject: Subject: Never say never... As we prepare to enter a new year, remember when you look to the future... "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 "But what ... is it good for?" --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." --Western Union internal memo, 1876. "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" --David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s. "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." --A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.) "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" --H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927. "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper." --Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind." "A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make." --Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies. "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." --Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962. "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." --Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895. "If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this." --Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads. "So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we' ll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" --Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer. "Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools." --1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work. "You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training." --Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus. "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy." --Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859. "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." --Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University,1929. "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." --Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre. "Everything that can be invented has been invented." --Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899. "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction". --Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872 "The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon". --Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon- Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981